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i've always kind of believed that everyone makes their own way in life, when it comes to things like beliefs, friends, personalities.. just the way you are and if something happens and you have a hard time than its your own fault and that you should change something.

i realize now that this is just what society wants you to feel. when everyone around you kicks you down and leaves you to suffer it's your own fault and that you're a bad person for it. maybe you just need to think more positively and get your mind off the bad stuff, and maybe you even deserve it because you're such a shitty person.

it's just to make you feel like the corrupt one. it's constructed by all the winners in order to take advantage of the losers, then dispose of them when they are no longer useful to them. that's how it all works. if you're a loser, you're destined to a life of pain and suffering at the hands of the winners, who don't feel a thing and perhaps even feel good about using and abusing the losers. even though the losers are in their position due to no fault of their own, they're still destined to this kind of life.

that's why I don't trust anyone anymore. after all this bullshit, i'm done putting my trust in any single human being at all. it's not worth it to me anymore, including the people who i once thought were my friends. everyone would just be perfectly content to see my suffering, along with those others who they have no problems with beating down and kicking aside. 

if anyone actually reads this they will likely think i'm crazy but we all are in our own ways. i just felt like venting to some people that i trusted at one time. i know it wont change anything but thanks for reading this anyway.

by the way this can be deleted whenever, just felt the need to post it.
Welcome to the forum friend! You're not a shitty person. I hope you feel better.
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I've been deeply betrayed by people I trusted myself. And my reaction was far from spectacular, but in the end, the lies prevailed and I got steamrolled, absolutely steamrolled for it... How, I do not know, but for better or for worse, people didn't want to hear the truth. So they came after me instead. I made the mistake of calling people out for what happened, and it didn't really work out for me too well in the end.

This was a very complicated situation involving a pretty harsh betrayal from over a year ago, and I lost a lot of friends to lies and things that were swept under the rug. I'm still dealing with the fallout of it today.

Honestly, even the winners lose sometimes. The difference is that the ones who look like they are winning are just covering it much better. It (usually) catches up to people, but even if it doesn't, I'll say this. In my life, one of the hardest lessons I had to learn was that there really isn't much justice to be expected in this world. It just doesn't exist the way we want it to. We want everything to be in a pretty bow sometimes and to work out, but the world doesn't work this way. We all have chapters we don't want the world to see. We all judge people, sometimes unfairly so. We all have moments that are less than spectacular.

Being a good person is the greatest gift someone can have, and I do my best to encourage people to be good-hearted and honest in this world. Make sure your life is built on a real foundation, because if you have a good foundation in your life, you'll be a h*** of a lot harder to shake. If I see people doing good, I support it and defend it vehemently. But if you do have a good heart, people will come after you for it, because in their eyes, you aren't good, you're a problem. Only because your views differ from theirs, and people are intrinsically afraid of that which is different from what they see in their own self. The problem is them. They are the ones who are building a foundationless life. They will pay the price for that.

But no matter what, don't beat yourself up for anything that's happened to you, or where you're at, or people who've betrayed you, or for things you feel you've done wrong or have been accused of. People who take advantage of others and abuse them to get ahead are cowards. It eventually catches up to them. If it doesn't on the outside, it certainly does on the inside. Just be smart. The only mistake you can make is to not defend the path you're on when they come after you for it.

Be your own advocate anywhere you go. Nobody will fight for yourself harder than you will fight for you. Be on your own side and stand your ground, because the world comes after everybody. It's not a matter of whether they will come for you, because they will. It's a matter of whether you'll make it through stronger, because that's where your foundation counts. And that's why so, so many "losers" end out ahead in the end. It's because they learned how to survive a ton of muck in this life, and they learned how to come out stronger.

The ones who had it easy shake with one blow. They won't survive it because they've never had to.

Stay encouraged mate. I can relate to how you're feeling, and it will all work out in the end my friend.

It sucks that you've had such a series of negative experiences explorer, honestly I've been there, it's part of why I try to separate myself from the masses by referring to them as "humans" because honestly, the primitive idiots unfortunately run everything.

Judge by actions rather than appearances, and keep everyone with a low bar so those that surprise you are likely to be the one's worth keeping, everybody else just isn't worth your time, after all, they are a bunch of primitive apes who still cling to those tribal tendencies.

just my two coppers Tongue

anyway good luck!
"I reject your reality and subsitute my own." - Adam Savage, Mythbusters
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